Raising my adults to be dependent

dependent

I was sitting reading through common quotes on Pinterest. There were more than I could count on the importance of independence and happiness and fulfillment through putting ourselves first. I'm sure you have read some posted on Facebook or even shared some of them. They definitely draw us in. The idea us finding this amazing inner strength and depending on it and finding this purpose and joy from it. Sounds pretty awesome.

As Christians we see the flaw in this or at least we are supposed to. For me when I sit and think about depending on this inner strength or finding fulfillment in my independence I am pretty freaked out by it to be honest. It only takes me a second to see how weak I am on my own and to see my history of messes flash before my eyes and then to think of having to only rely on that is the scariest thing I can think of.

On my own there is nothing I can do. Sure I can buy into the hype and buy a bunch of books and go on a bunch of retreats to better myself or strengthen myself but in the end the outcome is always the same. We were made to be dependent. We were made with a burning desire for intimacy and relationship and all of that is a reflection of the desperate need to be in unity with Christ. To become fully dependent on Him. I see how scary that is for a lot of people. The idea of relying on a being who you can't see or touch and if that's where we leave it then I can see how that wouldn't be very appealing but if you really take the time to get to know this God then you will see it so differently.


My life has been a spiral of disasters and messes most of which I've made for myself and a lot of which were done to me and you might think, "well you seemed to turn out ok, or you made it out ok" but the truth is I never made it out. I got dragged out of it by that same God that you think you can't see or touch. While this dependent life seems so daunting and powerless if you take a chance with it you will see that it is quite the opposite. Since I've surrendered my independence for a sweet dependent life in Jesus it is still a bit messy but I'm not making as many of the messes anymore and they aren't as big and they don't leave be broken anymore.

Hebrews

With this new dependent life I have a clear path and very clear purpose. I no longer have to trust in myself to make it through, only knowing that I will fail myself in the end. There is a bigger picture and the greatest part is that I am no longer walking this alone. There are times where I am walking with God, there are times when I am barely following behind and there are times, more often than not, that I am being carried along by Him. The false sense of power I had before is now replaced with the power of an all mighty God in me that cannot be broken or turned down. I am now strong because I finally saw that I am so weak.

What's the alternative? Sure you get to walk through your life thinking your in charge of it. Thinking you're making your own decisions and your own plans but what happens when you make the wrong decision? What happens when your plans turn out all wrong? What happens when it all seems great until you realize that you are doing it all alone? There is a bigger picture, a bigger plan. And the coolest part of all this is that you are already put into it. God has already planned this beautiful and rewarding path for you and he's just waiting for you to choose it. A plan that leads to pure joy, everlasting peace, and a true sense of purpose and direction for your life. No matter how much you mess up or fall short.

I've always walked through parenting with the slogan that I am raising adults not children and this has greatly molded the way I have parented. I intend on keeping that slogan in my parenting but the most important thing I want to teach my children is that we are called to be dependent. It goes against everything they will learn from this world but it is the greatest gift I will ever give them. To send them off into this world with it pressed onto their hearts that their life is meant to be dependent on Christ. If they can walk out my door at 18 with one lesson learned I pray with all my heart that it is this. Because when they get let down by themselves, by their friends, by someone they fall in love with, or by me they will look inside and remember that they don't have to lean on themselves or anyone else but all they have to do is lean on God. A God who in unmoving and a God who will never ever let them down. A God who will chase them with an aching heart or wait with the most patient open hands. A God who will hold them when they are too tired to stand, a God who will cry with them, a God who will wipe their tears, and a God who will love them more than they will ever understand.

I have one chance, one goal as a parent and that is to point these tiny little souls to rest in Jesus Christ and I intend on doing it right. No matter how hard or how wrong it seems to everyone else. These little gifts that God has trusted me with will not leave my arms without seeing the full beauty of a dependent life in Christ Jesus. If I teach them anything less I am failing them completely.